pray for all the daughters and their mothers too

a poem about mothers and daughters

“i can’t wait to have a daughter,” i say
a light dancing in my eyes as i dream of that magical day
“you don’t want a daughter, they’re too hard,” says my mother
not realizing that as the words pass her lips
she’s shattering my heart once again
for i am her only daughter
and i don’t miss the implication that her life would be easier if only i’d been a son
so i lower my gaze
as the light flickers, then fades
and silently, i pray
for my future daughter
promising i’ll never make her feel this way

a few days later
in a stack of my mother’s old things
a booklet from her in the 6th grade
she writes about wanting daughters
before the world taught her it was a sin to be anything other than a son
and again, i pray
this time for my mother and that little girl who was dreaming of me
“i’m so sorry they made you feel that way”